All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs – Part Five

Well, here we are. Back for more Giancarlo Stanton blasts. In a way I am sad, because this is the second last part of my exhaustive series on Giancarlo Stanton’s homeruns, at least for now. But in a way I am also happy, because it is difficult to come up with 29 even moderately humorous things to say about home runs. On to the gifs!

Home run #21 – August 8 – off Chris Young(still the pitcher) – 381 feet

This is the second home run that Stanton hit off Chris Young on this day, and the second one that went into the “Party City Deck.” These guys are just trying to have a Party on the “City Deck.” Or is it a “Party City” on the deck? Whatever the case, quit bothering them with your pesky home runs, Giancarlo.

Home run #22 – August 16 – off Adam Ottavino – 456 feet

This home run was in the first game of a four game series at Coors field. Stanton would hit three home runs in the series, and this is the shortest of them. It went 456 feet. That is far. Look at all of those people scrambling for the ball when it lands in the seats.

Home run #23 – August 17 – off Josh Roenicke – 494 feet

This is the longest home run hit in the major leagues this year. You can see a look of utter dejection on Josh Roenicke’s face right after Stanton makes contact, as he is aware that a baseball has just been hit 3-4 miles. You may not have heard but right after this, the game actually had to be delayed for 8 minutes while Josh Roenicke ate an entire blueberry pie. Don’t ask me why. Ask Josh Roenicke. He’s the one eating blueberry pies in the middle of baseball games.

Home run #24 – August 18 – off Tyler Chatwood – 465 feet

After this series against the Marlins, you’d think that the entire Colorado Rockies pitching staff would need some sort of weekend getaway. What you may not know is that the actual Colorado Rockies pitching staff has actually been on a “getaway” all season, forcing Jim Tracy to pitch a staff of replacement players. Why else would Jamie Moyer have pitched for them? Next season, the actual Colorado Rockies pitchers will return, and they will be less awful. Maybe.

Home run #25 – August 2o – off Joe Saunders – 442 feet

Good Lord. Do you remember when I said the thing at the beginning of this post about it being difficult to come up with anything to say about these home runs? This is one of those cases. Hey, there’s another Pepsi sign behind home plate! And a Pepsi Max sign in the outfield! Do you think Giancarlo Stanton purposefully ignores my requests to go to lunch with him?

This is the end of part five of All of the Giancarlo Stanton home runs. As of this moment, Giancarlo Stanton has hit 29 home runs this season, so part six will only comprise four home runs, instead of the typical five. Get on it Giancarlo!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s