All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs – Part Six

This is it. For now. Giancarlo Stanton has hit 29 home runs so far this year – and I’ve made a gif and a bad joke about each and every one. If you want more Giancarlo Stanton home run gifs, talk to him, not me. On to the last 4 gifs.

Home run #26 – August 20 – off Brad Bergesen – 398 feet

When I was in Grade 8, my entire class each had to write a 5-7 minute speech which then had to be performed in front of the class. Each teacher would then pick the best two from each class, who would then have to perform in front of the entire grade. The best three out of that group would then have to perform at some banquet thing, in front of a bunch of bankers or something. I wrote my speech on “Cheese” so naturally I was selected as one of the three best in my grade. Unfortunately for me, I had a crippling fear of public speaking, so giving the speech in front of progressively larger groups of people was terrifying, at best. So, in a way I know what it feels like to rise through the ranks of the minor leagues. You and I have something in common Giancarlo. What’s that? It’s not the least bit similar? Well I don’t see you writing any award winning speeches, so shut up. That speech thing is true by the way.

Read the rest of this entry »


All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs – Part Five

Well, here we are. Back for more Giancarlo Stanton blasts. In a way I am sad, because this is the second last part of my exhaustive series on Giancarlo Stanton’s homeruns, at least for now. But in a way I am also happy, because it is difficult to come up with 29 even moderately humorous things to say about home runs. On to the gifs!

Home run #21 – August 8 – off Chris Young(still the pitcher) – 381 feet

This is the second home run that Stanton hit off Chris Young on this day, and the second one that went into the “Party City Deck.” These guys are just trying to have a Party on the “City Deck.” Or is it a “Party City” on the deck? Whatever the case, quit bothering them with your pesky home runs, Giancarlo.

Read the rest of this entry »

All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs – Part Four

It’s part four of my Emmy winning series on All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs! What’s that you say? Blog posts are not eligible for Emmy awards? Never mind then. On to the gifs!

Home run #16 – June 22 – off Ricky Romero – 366 feet

First off, either my computer screwed up during the production of this gif, or the ball teleported twice during this play. Can’t be sure either way. Second, this ball went off the very top of the outfield wall. A few inches less, and it would have been a double. A few inches more and it would have – well it still would have been a home run, but it wouldn’t have hit the top of the wall. Perspective!

Read the rest of this entry »

All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs – Part Three

Hi friends. Welcome back for the third volume of All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs. Let’s get on with it, shall we.

Home run #11 – May 25 – off Tim Lincecum – 431 feet

Here we see Stanton crushing a ball beyond the home run sculpture thing at Marlins Park. So close, Giancarlo. So close. Shortly after, Jeffrey Loria was overheard saying “Haha, excellent. Trade all of the players!” On second thought, that may not have had anything to do with Stanton’s homer.

Read the rest of this entry »

All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs – Part Two

It’s the exciting second part of All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs! This time around, Stanton hits several more home runs. Well, on to the gifs.

Home run #6 – May 7 – off Wandy Rodriguez – 365 feet

Stanton’s sixth HR of the season was off of Wandy Rodriguez at Minute Maid Park. Is Wandy short for Wandrew? Woah, no need to get so angry, I was just asking.

Read the rest of this entry »

All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs – Part One

Giancarlo Stanton is awesome. He hits mammoth home runs. I have decided to look at each and every home run that Giancarlo Stanton has hit this season, because of those first two things. Gifs are included, so I’m going to break them up into 5 HRs at a time, in an attempt to not bring down whole networks. So, without further ado, here is part one of All of the Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs:

Home run #1 – April 29 – off Mike Zagurski – 425 feet

This was Stanton’s first home run of the season, which somehow did not happen until April 29. “How did Giancarlo Stanton not hit any home runs until April 29th?” you are very likely asking. “Was he injured and not playing or something?” you might add. I can┬átell you that he had played in 19 games up until that point, but as for the first question, I do not know the answer. It is a mystery. All I know, is that someone named Mike Zagurski, who may or may not have actually been on the Arizona Diamondbacks roster at the time, somehow managed to get up on the mound and pitch to four batters before he was noticed and subsequently removed from the game. “Hey, who is that guy up there on that mound of dirt throwing baseballs towards the plate that just gave up a gargantuan home run to the man formerly known as Mike Stanton?” one imagines Kirk Gibson asking. No one knew.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Dodgers. The Giants. A-Gon Edition!

Well, the National League West just got a bit more interesting. Probably. As you may have heard, The Dodgers acquired Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, Josh Beckett, and Nick Punto from the Red Sox for Rubby De La Rosa, James Loney, and a couple prospects. Probably. As of this writing, the trade has not been confirmed. So I’m going to write “probably” after everything.

You may have also seen, but probably not, that I forecasted the results of the NL West a couple of days ago, and predicted that the Dodgers would come out on top. Since that post, besides this trade that probably happened, the Giants also swept the Dodgers. So I have decided to run the numbers again. And here are the results:

Dodgers current record: 67-58

Previous forecast: 92-70

New forecast: 92-70

So no change, although the trade does help them out. Adrian Gonzalez is worth +1.0 wins over the 0 win James Loney, plus the negative win Juan Rivera. Nick Punto kind of replaces Jerry Hairston, who is out for the season, and Josh Beckett replaces Joe Blanton in the rotation. Beckett adds about 0.2 wins, so in total, the trade should add about 1.2 wins over the remainder of the season. But, they also lost two games against the Giants, so they’re in a bit worse place to start off. Adjusting the rest of the players for the remainder of the season, and you come out with 13.4 wins plus 11.4 wins for a replacement team, and you come out with 24.8 more wins – or a 92-70 record.

Giants current record: 70-55

Previous forecast: 90-72

New forecast: 92-70

Oh, boy. A tie! The Giants are now forecasted for 21.8 more wins, which would put them at 92-70, tied with the Dodgers. Hooray for the NL West! Probably.